GOD: AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY - THE PODCAST
JLM - Narrator (Jerry L. Martin) - voiced by Scott Langdon
Jerry - Jerry Martin - voiced by Scott Langdon
GOD - The Voice of God - voiced by Jerry L. Martin, who heard the voice
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EPISODE THREE: Where I ask about beliefs I grew up with
JLM
Abigail was still teaching full-time in New York, and I was working in Washington, D.C. We saw each other only on all-too-brief weekends. Come summer, we were spending more time together.
She needed a car. I looked at the ads and found a nice little white used car. The guy selling it was the youth minister at his church. I started to explain I was buying it for my girlfriend, but that wasn't true. I was buying it for my future wife.
"I'm buying it for my fiancé," I told the man.
JLM
There had never been any doubt that I would marry Abigail. I never considered anything short of that. But, in a methodical way, I had held off for six long months. It was time to pop the question.
I took her to a dark, romantic Spanish restaurant in Alexandria. I told her I loved her and wanted to "spend at least one lifetime together,” and asked if she would be my wife.
I asked and waited. And waited. Then waited some more. She seemed deep in thought.
JERRY
You haven't answered my question.
ABIGAIL
Yes.
JERRY
Why the long pause?
ABIGAIL
It was a serious question. I thought I should give it a serious answer.
JLM
To us, the ceremony was not just the last step of a legal process. It was important to be married "before God." His presence was required. Everything seemed so slapdash, I actually worried God might not be present with us.
JERRY
Lord, will you be with us?
GOD
You couldn't keep me away! My presence will be fully with you. I bless this marriage. I will be present in every pore of your being.
JLM
It was a simple and beautiful ceremony, and we did feel blessed. But, as time went on, I found I was praying but not really listening. I was avoiding something.
JLM
I had entered college a Christian and left an agnostic. I had no desire to be "washed in the blood" again. The question I had been avoiding was...
JERRY
Do you want me to become a Christian?
GOD
No. I don't want you to join any denomination.
JERRY
Is it okay for me to read about Jesus?
GOD
Yes, but reading through the Old Testament first is a good approach.
JERRY
The God of the Old Testament seems terrifying. You do not seem terrifying, Lord.
GOD
I was young then. I had not much experience with people. I am an evolving God.
JLM
God was young, then? He is evolving?
JLM
The God who spoke to me was very much a personal God. It was surprising but not out of character if, like other persons, He changes over time. Later I would learn this is why God wanted to talk to me. I was relieved I did not have to become a Christian, but I still wondered whether Christian beliefs about Jesus were true.
JERRY
Lord, is Jesus your son?
GOD
Yes.
JLM
I wondered about the doctrine of the Trinity, that God comprises the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
JERRY
Lord, is Jesus God?
GOD
Yes.
JLM
I had trouble tracking these answers.
JERRY
But you told me I should not become a Christian.
GOD
Yes, you should not.
JERRY
But you just said...
GOD
To believe that Jesus is my son is not the same as being a Christian. Christianity is a sect, with some truths but many limitations. Study Jesus, learn from him but do not become a Christian.
JERRY
Lord, does Jesus have a unique role, or is he one of the many manifestations of God?
GOD
Unique.
JERRY
Is he the key to saving or healing the world?
GOD
Yes, he is an important part of it.
JERRY
Is the language of "believing in him" apt?
GOD
Yes.
JERRY
Should I pray to Jesus or God?
GOD
It is the same.
JERRY
What about Mary?
GOD
The feminine side of God--the healing side--is important in healing the world. Mary is a good embodiment, representation, reflection of that side of God.
JLM
My wife is Jewish, and I was afraid all this talk about Jesus would upset her. But, like someone who talks too much about the very thing he wants to avoid, I asked...
JERRY
Lord, did the Jews make a mistake in not being open to the new covenant announced by Jesus?
GOD
Yes.
JLM
Oh, no. Here goes.
GOD
They became wedded to the covenant, the covenant with the people of Israel in their Messianic destiny. That was, and remains, a valid covenant. But it is not the only covenant.
I make many covenants with human beings. They are all valid and have their own destiny, and work together toward a common destiny for mankind.
The new covenant of Jesus is not as incompatible with the covenant with Israel as Jews tend to suppose. It is compatible, but does not supersede, does not erase or nullify, the old covenant.
JERRY
Does Jesus replace the covenant?
GOD
No, he fulfills it.
JERRY
I see. But, does Jesus fulfill the covenant in a way that replaces it?
GOD
No, it remains fully valid.
JERRY
Should Jews, in Jesus' day have accepted him as Messiah?
GOD
Yes.
JERRY
Why didn't they accept Jesus?
GOD
Many different reasons. He was too radical, flouted their traditions, spoke a language they found uncomfortable, alien. It's not easy to believe. It is easier to pray for a distant Messiah than to accept a present one.
JERRY
Lord, was it a sin for Jews to reject Jesus?
GOD
No. No more or less than all those years you did not believe. It is a sin in a sense, but it is also much of the human condition not to believe. People are skeptical for good reasons, having to do with their intelligence, as well as bad.
JERRY
Did the Jews kill Christ?
GOD
That's a silly question. Did Americans--or Southerners--kill Lincoln? Some Jews, some Gentiles were equally implicated. That is a nonissue.
JLM
I would often tell Abigail what I had been told, and usually she reserved comment. But, when she heard that Jews should have accepted Jesus, she burst into tears.
ABIGAIL
Two thousand years of pogroms and persecution, ghettos and exile--all for a mistake?
JLM
I don't know if that is really an implication of what I had been told, but it was certainly a natural reaction.
ABIGAIL
Mistake or not, the people of the covenant, as the "suffering servant" identified by Isaiah, will always be susceptible to persecution.
JLM
After that, I wondered whether I should share everything with Abigail.
JERRY
What should I do about Abigail, Lord? She is a sensitive person--feelings shoot right through her body. Should I keep it to myself?
GOD
Use discretion. Do not break the vessel.
(The End)